Some more humor
I was shocked when my mother voted for Kamala
She never would have done that when she was alive.
If a democrat wins, I’m leaving,
If a republican wins, I’m also leaving.
This has nothing to do with politics.
I just really want to travel.
The problem with Trump jokes
Republicans don’t think they’re funny, and democrats don’t think they’re jokes.
Why did the democrats lose the election?
They were Biden their time
The worst problem at the congressional baseball game is
All the republicans are in right field
If there weren’t any democrats…
Then who would be left?
How can NASCAR racers be republicans
if all they do is go left?
Why was Trump impeached twice?
He wanted to prove that anything a Democrat can do, he can do better and in half the time.
Why did the democrat walk into a bar?
Because Kamala Harris set it so low.
How do politicians keep their breath fresh?
With Entitle-mints.
What did the Trump say to China?
We are going to build a Great Firewall and make your hackers pay for it.
What do you call Al Gore’s drumming?
An algorithm.
What do you call a basement full of liberals?
A whine cellar.
What is a democratic free market?
One that hands out slices of cheese
Why did God create democrats?
In order to make used car salesmen look good.
What the difference between a liberal and the rear end of a horse?
I don’t know.
Who said that democrats have no standards?
In fact, they have double standards.
I hope Elon Musk never gets involved in a scandal
Elongate would be really drawn out.
According to my calculations, about 40% of Americans are republicans
But that’s just a conservative estimate
How do you hide money from a republican?
Put it in an LGBTQ textbook.
Elon Musk’s plan for Mars colonization will include only republicans.
Well it is the red planet.
How many democrats does it take to fix a problem?
No one knows. It’s never happened.
I was trying to think of past republicans similar to Marjorie Taylor Greene
But they just Palin comparison.
What’s the difference between Elon Musk and God?
God doesn’t think he’s Elon Musk.
What did the republicans do when Obama won the election 2 times in a row?
They pulled out their Trump card
Some republican and a few socialists live in the same building. One day there is a fire, but only the socialists die. Why?
Everyone else was at work.
The only reason the democrats haven’t risen up and overthrown the government
The republicans are the ones with the guns.
Why were democrats in the early lead on election day?
The republicans weren’t off of work yet.
Elon Musk is originally from South Africa, which is strange
You’d think he was from mad-at-gas-car.
Elon Musk, Tiger Woods, the Pope and a college student are on an airplane …
The plane is going down, the pilots bailed, it’s going to crash.
there’s 4 of them and only 3 parachutes …
Tiger Woods says “I’m the greatest golfer in history, I should get a parachute.”
Everyone agrees, Tiger takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane.
Elon Musk says “I’m the smartest man in the world, I should get a parachute.”
Everyone agrees, Musk jumps out of the plane.
The pope tells the college student “My son, take this last parachute and live a long happy life.”
The college student says “We can both go. the smartest man just jumped out with my backpack.”
Before Elon Musk started Tesla
… he was plain old Lon Musk
President Trump was told there were at least 12 Brazilians in the migrant caravan headed to the Southern border…
He turned to his Treasury Secretary and said: “how much is a brazillion?”
Some people are skeptical of migrants because they think they don’t embrace their new country’s culture
But I teach calculus to international students at my local university and they all integrate really well.
Some illegals from Siberia decided to come into Canada and hired a boat to take them but the captain seemed to have gotten lost. Nervously one of them asked him “Are you alright?” He said “Yeah, I just need to get my Bering Strait.”
I was at the mall and saw a boy selling week old “Democrat Puppies” in the parking lot. A week later the boy was back in the parking lot selling “Republican Puppies”. I asked him what happened? He said “they opened their eyes.”
haroldblackphd.com 