A few thoughts and some humor (I think)

A few thoughts and some humor (I think)

Trump now wants Fed governor Lisa Cook to resign after Housing Finance director Bill Pulte (a new Trump attack dog and Pulte Homes heir) referred Cook to the Justice Department claiming mortgage fraud accusing her of using two different properties as her principal residence in 2021. Can’t these people (Adam Schiff, Letitia James and now Cook) figure out where they live? Trump posted “Cook must resign, now!!!” By the way, Pulte has publicly called for Powell’s resignation for the past few months. I wonder if he wants to be the next Fed chair? Bernie Moreno (R-Ohio – Go Bucks!) also a member of the MAGAverse tweeted “Lisa Cook is cooked and should immediately resign her position at the Federal Reserve. For the benefit of our great Country, I’m hopeful we can get a two for one special and Jay Powell can join her in packing it up.” Moreno probably thinks that Cook is on leave from the hated That Team Up North but she is actually on leave from her faculty position at Michigan State. He term doesn’t end until 2038 but she is likely to return to Michigan State or land some cushy job well before then. I would be stunned if she resigned before Trump leaves office. But Cook is not cooked. The allegations occurred prior to her joining the Fed Board and seeking to remove her for “cause” would fail. But nice try guys. Want to bet if she can be intimidated to vote for lowering the Fed funds rate?

There is a report published in Science that says that people who stopped eating ultraprocessed foods lost twice the weight as those who did not. “When given nutritionally matched diets, participants lost twice as much weight eating minimally processed foods compared to ultra-processed foods.” Ok so what do you do for those of us who never eat “ultra” processed foods. How do we lose weight? I read labels. My cereals do not have corn sugar or salt. My broths are low sodium. I never eat fast food. I do not eat junk. I have eschewed ice cream and candy. The only fried food I eat is an occasional piece of Publix’s chicken. I do all the cooking in my house. Even the few cans I buy do not contain anything I cannot pronounce. How do I lose 20 pounds in a controlled healthy way? I asked my doctor once and she told me that everything she could recommend I was already doing. Thanks doc.

I wrote that Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump have a lot in common. Some of my readers pilloried me for having such temerity. Well Bernie thinks Trump’s suggestion that the US having a stake in Intel and other companies is a wonderful idea. Bernie says “If microchip companies make a profit from the generous grants they receive from the federal government, the taxpayers of America have a right to a reasonable return on that investment.” Trump is all in on government intervention in private business. Maybe he should make Bernie Secretary of Commerce rather than Howard Lutnick.

I have a reader who says that Trump is too nuanced for me to understand. A real Machiavelli no doubt.

And now a little humor:

One day while at the bank an old lady asked if I could check her balance – so I pushed her over.

I asked a friend the best way to burn fat. He said “barbeque.”

If you drink two glasses of kale juice a day, it will destroy your belly fat and your desire to live too.

My belly fat was preventing me from seeing my shoes, so I bought a pair that was two sizes bigger.

Democrats want to compromise on immigration by agreeing to put a cap on immigrants. Personally I think that they should be allowed to wear any headgear they choose.

If a person from Holland married a Filipino, would their kids be Hollapinos?

ICE arrested a person hiding illegals from who had faked Prague visas. He was cited for caching false Czechs.

What do you call an elderly Hispanic immigrant. A señor citizen.

Why are white prison gangs the scariest? Because they had a fair trial and still ended up in prison.

Do you think Donald Trump would have a different attitude toward migrants if both of his wives weren’t immigrants?

Why do Hispanic illegals never come across the border in threes? Its because of all those no “tres” passing signs.

Where did you get your last name? Well when my great grandfather landed at Ellis Island, he spoke little English and when they asked him his name he said “Amhere.”

Why did the art thief’s van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum? 

Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

If people evolved from monkeys then why are monkeys still around?

Border patrol apparently does not have a sense of humor. They arrested this guy at the border because when the border patrol said “papers,” the immigrant answered “scissors.”

I don’t understand why Trump closed the borders. Didn’t he say “America first?”

Why is there a “d” in fridge but not in refrigerator?

Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?

If I could find a country that didn’t take in immigrants, I would move there.

In every relationship there is one person who stacks the dishwasher like a Scandinavian architect and one who stacks it like a racoon on crystal meth.

When asked why don’t I have tattoos. I say “Have you ever seen a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?”

Why do eggs come in flimsy styrofoam cartons and batteries come in a package only a chainsaw can open?

I am fairly certain that the person who put the first r in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

You know you are old when you spelled a word so wrong that it baffled autocorrect.