Doritos, a Health Food? Baby Food. Kwanza Jones, Superwoman 

 

Farm-to-Table Doritos?

 

I was in the grocery section of my local Walmart when I saw a display for “protein Doritos.” Naturally, my first thought was, “what’s next, organic Doritos?” Turns out there they were, labeled “simply naked.”  Fine, where are the farm-to-table Doritos? Surely that’s a bridge too far even for a company that puts cheese dust in a bag and calls it flavor.

So I googled it, because of that’s what I do, and there it was in Stat News, plain as day: Doritos are now being marketed as farm-to-table! PepsiCo has apparently discovered that nothing sells a neon triangle of processed corn like a slogan about partnering with farmers to bring the product “from the field to you.” The ads feature corn seedlings and wholesome farmers, presumably standing just out of frame from the industrial extruder.

Doritos as farm-to-table snacks? Big Food, under duress, gets creative

So What Exactly Are You Feeding Your Toddler?

 

A study presented at the Nutrition 2026 conference surveyed the baby food aisles of Austin, Texas grocery stores, and the results were about as reassuring as finding out your GPS was designed by a raccoon. More than 80% of packaged foods marketed to toddlers turned out to be ultra-processed. Nearly half failed at least one of the World Health Organization’s basic standards for sugar, sodium, fat, or calories in children’s food. Researchers combed through 2,783 products aimed at kids ages 6 to 36 months — fruit pouches, granola bars, an entire ecosystem of mysterious “puffs” — and found that 17% blew past recommended sugar levels, 25% were oversalted, 11% had too much fat, and 12% missed the mark on energy density.

Naturally, I want to know what RFK Jr. and the MAHA crowd make of all this. Where is the farm-to-table baby food? Warning labels on puffs? My mother made her own baby food by pureeing whatever she was feeding my father — and let the record show, I did not know until much later in life that pork chops and chitterlings could, in fact, be pureed. Somehow my brother and I survived this culinary exercise just fine.

Meanwhile, a real live Superwoman

 

The San Diego Padres were just sold for a paltry $3.9 billion — a new MLB record, and roughly the GDP of a small country. Most of the coverage focused on buyer José E. Feliciano (the private equity guy, not the singer) as only the second Hispanic majority owner in MLB, after Arte Moreno of the aka Anaheim Angels. Barely mentioned was Feliciano’s wife and business partner, Kwanza Jones, who just became the first black majority owner of a major league team. Magic Johnson, for the record, is a minority owner of the Dodgers — no pun intended.

And Kwanza Jones is not someone you casually mention in a footnote. She’s a Princeton grad with a B.A. in Public and International Affairs, a J.D. from Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law, and a Master of Dispute Resolution from Pepperdine — which, incidentally, sounds like the exact degree you’d want if you were about to co-own a baseball team. Before any of that, she was crowned Miss Baltimore in 1995 and took second at Miss Maryland. She practiced law and taught cross-cultural negotiation at NYU, because apparently one career wasn’t going to cut it.

Then Quincy Jones — yes, that Quincy Jones — talked her into a music career. Of course, she won the famous Amateur Night at the Apollo, released three albums (Naked, Naked 2, and Supercharged), and landed multiple Top 10 hits on the Billboard Dance chart, including “Think Again” and “Turn It Up.” Somewhere between law school and the Apollo stage, she also built a business empire around personal and professional empowerment, co-founded the Jones-Feliciano Initiative with her husband, and has directed more than $250 million toward social impact causes — including a $20 million gift to Princeton and a $6 million investment establishing the Kwanza Jones and Jose E. Feliciano Program for Clinical Education at Cardozo Law.

Beauty queen, attorney, law professor, recording artist, philanthropist, and now MLB owner.“Superwoman” may be an understatement.